Yes, I’m talking it about here. Why? Well, I feel like we are an open community. So, this has nothing to do with torture, taxes, or Rush Limbaugh, but I posted this at my private blog and I wanted to share with all of you this little piece of me…
As soon as I saw the DialIdol.com stats this morning, I knew that Adam Lambert wasn’t going to win. And that’s okay. Last week, few votes separated the top 3 and Danny Gokey’s fans were more likely to go to Kris Allen than Adam Lambert. But still…
I had a very personal reason for hoping that Adam would win. And it was actually very selfish. I grew up in rural WV, raised in a conservative church were gay is bad. I remember being told in church that many of the Nazis were homosexuals. At the some time, I love and revered the church leaders. So for me, the idea that somebody could be labeled “gay” and still win a popularity contest astounds me. If America can choose between a gay and straight, why would America ever vote for the gay? I guess that for me and perhaps for so many others, homosexuality is still so wedded to shame that I cannot see it as mainstream. We still live in a country where THIS is mainstream.
Yeah, Will and Grace was funny. And every body laughed at the Fab Five (Queer Eye for a Straight Guy). But even if you are amused by and tolerate gays, can a gay still be the American Idol? Even if he’s gay, he could win?
I cried last night during Adam’s performance because I just could not fathom that the gay community had gone from “me being beat up in the locker room” to Adam Lambert in LA. Wow. I mean, I know gays and lesbians who still have to pretend to be straight when they go home for Christmas. Roll your eyes and laugh, but WOW.
Still, it’s not fair that we put this on Adam or Kris. From a career perspective, it’s probably a good thing that Adam didn’t win American Idol. He won’t have to do all of the obligatory winner bullshit and he can release his first album on his own timetable, not the “Oh my god, you won, we have to get something out there now before America forgets you” timetable. And many of his “fuck the establishment” fans will probably appreciate that he isn’t mainstream enough for the conservative Idol crowd.
A part of me actually feels sorry for Kris Allen. He may be doomed to be plagued with the “Do you think you won because Adam Lambert is gay?” question. He is going to be asked that repeatedly over the next few months, and that is a shame because he is a damn good artist. There will be an astrix next to his name on the American Idol Wikipedia page.
So, it’s not really fair that I attach my hopes and dreams to Adam Lambert. He’s just an artist. He deserves the opportunity to pursue a career without anyone trying to attach some symbolic meaning to his run on American Idol. He should be able to live his life and pursue the career he wants without being tagged as “the gay almost-Idol.”
But still, imagine if we lived in a country where identity didn’t matter.
What a beautiful thing.