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The Daily F Bomb, Tuesday 2/12/13

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Good morning, again. I’m watching people get snowed on on TV while i sit in my heated apartment. Outside it’s a toasty 40-something. That white stuff looks cold. You guys can keep it. 😉

Today’s interrogatories:  What is the best comeback line you ever came up with? Was it timely or did you think of it after the fact? Do you say “all of a sudden” or “all the sudden”? Were you ever a tattletale as a kid? What’s the oddest job you ever had? What is the bigger waste of time, reports or meetings? Are you religious, or spiritual (not the same thing) or neither?

From the Twitter Emitter

On This Day

In 1554, Lady Jane Grey, who had claimed the throne of England for nine days, was beheaded after being charged with treason.

In 1733, Englishman James Oglethorpe founded Georgia, 13th of the Thirteen Colonies, along with its first city, Savannah.

In 1870, Women in the Utah Territory gained the right to vote.

In 1909, the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People (NAACP) was founded.

In 1915, the cornerstone for the Lincoln Memorial was laid in Washington, D.C.

In 1946, African American Army veteran Isaac Woodard was severely beaten by a South Carolina police officer, causing him to lose his vision in both eyes. The incident helped galvanize the Civil Rights Movement and was allegedly partial inspiration for Orson Welles’ film Touch of Evil (in which Charlton Heston played a Mexican).

In 1999, the Senate voted to acquit President Bill Clinton on charges of perjury and obstruction of justice.

In 2004, in defiance of existing law, San Francisco officials began performing weddings for same-sex couples.

Born on This Day

1584 – Caspar Barlaeus, Dutch polymath and Renaissance humanist, a theologian, poet, and historian (d. 1648)

1663 – Cotton Mather, New England minister (d. 1728)

1752 – Dorothea Ackermann, German actress (d. 1821)

1775 – Louisa Adams, First Lady of the United States (1825-1829), widow of John Quincy Adams (d. 1852)

1792 – Ferdinand de Braekeleer the elder (sometimes spelled Braeckeleer), Flemish painter (d. 1883)

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1809 – Charles Darwin, English naturalist (d. 1882)

1809 – Abraham Lincoln, 16th President of the United States (1861-his death) (d. 1865)

1857 – Eugène Atget, French photographer who documented architecture and street scenes in a Paris that is no more. (d. 1927)

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1870 – Marie Lloyd, English music-hall performer (d. 1922)

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1872 – Oscar Stribolt, Danish actor (d. 1927)

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1880 – John L. Lewis, American labor union leader (d. 1969)

1881 – Anna Pavlova, Russian ballerina (d. 1931)

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1882 – Walter Vaes, Belgian painter/etcher who was fond of still life painting of food, much of it half-eaten. (d. 1958)

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1884 – Max Beckmann, German artist (d. 1950)

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1884 – Alice Roosevelt Longworth, elder daughter of Theodore Roosevelt (d. 1980)

1884 – Marie Vassilieff, Russian artist (d. 1957)

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1897 – Vola Vale, American actress (d. 1970)

1916 – Joseph Alioto, Mayor of San Francisco (d. 1998)

1930 – Arlen Specter, American politician (d. 2012)

1933 – Costa-Gavras, Greek filmmaker

1938 – Judy Blume, American author

1939 – Ray Manzarek, American keyboardist (The Doors)

1945 – Cliff DeYoung, American actor and musician (Clear Light)

1950 – Steve Hackett, English guitarist (Genesis)

1951 – Steven Parent, Manson murder victim (d. 1969)

1952 – Simon MacCorkindale, British actor (d. 2010)

1952 – Michael McDonald, American musician

1956 – Brian Robertson, Scottish musician (Thin Lizzy and Motörhead)

1958 – Grant McLennan, Australian musician (The Go-Betweens) (d. 2006)

1968 – Josh Brolin, American actor

1968 – Chynna Phillips, American singer (Wilson Phillips)

1970 – Jim Creeggan, Canadian bassist (Barenaked Ladies)

1980 – Christina Ricci, American actress

1981 – Lisa Hannigan, Irish singer

Died on This Day

1538 – Albrecht Altdorfer, German painter

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1763 – Pierre de Marivaux, French writer (b. 1688)

1789 – Ethan Allen, American patriot (b. 1738)

1804 – Immanuel Kant, German philosopher (b. 1724)

1929 – Lillie Langtry, British singer and actress (b. 1853)

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1935 – Georges Auguste Escoffier, French celebrity chef (b. 1846)

1942 – Grant Wood, American painter (b.1891)

1970 – Ishman Bracey, American blues musician (b. 1901)

1976 – Sal Mineo, American actor (b. 1939)

1979 – Jean Renoir, French director (b. 1894)

2000 – Screamin’ Jay Hawkins, American musician (b. 1929)

2000 – Charles M. Schulz, American comics author (b. 1922)

2007 – Eldee Young, American jazz player (Ramsey Lewis Trio) (b. 1936)

2011 – Betty Garrett, American actress and dancer (b. 1919)

Today is

Darwin Day

National Freedom to Marry Day, unofficial (United States)

Red Hand Day (United Nations)

National Plum Pudding Day

National PB&J Day

National Lost Penny Day

 


Categories: General.

/ 57 Comments

57 comments

  2. plf515

    What is the best comeback line you ever came up with?

    I don’t know. But here is the best comeback line ANYONE EVER came up with.  Moses Montefiore was at a dinner and someone declared “I’ve just returned from Japan. Marvelous country. They have no Jews and they have no pigs”.

    To which Montefiore replied

    “We must go there together, sir, so they will have one of each”.

    Oh SNAP! Such comeback wizardry can only leave me gasping in wonder.

    Do you say “all of a sudden” or “all the sudden”?

    All of a sudden. Who says the latter?

    Were you ever a tattletale as a kid?

    Not on purpose, but I was (and am) bad at knowing what is secret.

    What’s the oddest job you ever had?

    I’ve had pretty normal jobs. But, when I was on jury duty once, I heard about a woman who was a garbage inspector. It seems that many drug dealers would stash their wares in piles of garbage in building sites and abandoned lots. Her job was to inspect the garbage.  Dangerous and weird.

    What is the bigger waste of time, reports or meetings?

    Meetings. Reports can be skimmed.

    Are you religious, or spiritual (not the same thing) or neither?

    I am an aweist

  3. blue jersey mom

    that Darwin and Lincoln were born on the same day..

    I have never been good at snappy come-back lines.

    Do you say “all of a sudden” or “all the sudden”? All of a sudden. I have never heard the other.

    Were you ever a tattletale as a kid? Hell, no.

    What’s the oddest job you ever had? I have worked as an archaeologist and a swimming instructor for almost all of my adult life. When I was 16 I worked in the dining hall at Girl Scout Camp.

    What is the bigger waste of time, reports or meetings? meetings.

    Are you religious, or spiritual (not the same thing) or neither? Not really much of either.

  4. JanF

    Pope’in Palins are the best.

       You know the Church is dead when the Pope just up and quits like he’s some two-bit Alaskan governor. #edshow

       – Steve Weinstein (@steveweinstein) February 12, 2013

    I will break with my tradition of ignoring that you have a TEST for us every day and quickly answer this one because it is so obvious it should not even be a question:

    – What is the bigger waste of time, reports or meetings?

       MEETINGS

    A report can be a creative venture but nothing, literally nothing, can be done in a meeting except to sit and listen to other meeting-goers.

    National Lost Penny Day?

    “Will and Penny, back to the ship!!”

    If I don’t get lost, I will be back to read the hovers …

  6. slksfca

    …my best comeback was to a heckler while I was onstage warming up the audience for a vaudeville show. The guy was a real smart-ass and my immediate put-down was so perfect the audience roared with laughter at the poor schlub. “All of a sudden” I had the rest of the audience in the palm of my hand. 😉

    My oddest job was temping as “receptionist” for an office that received neither visitors nor phone calls. I spent my time doing weird immature stuff, like xeroxing my face and mailing copies out to friends under the label “The Shroud of Turin.”

    I appreciate spirituality but cannot in good conscience claim to be consistently “spiritual.”

  7. Jk2003

    Comebacks:  mine are always in my head later so they only make sense to me.  I am not much for confrontation.

    “All of a sudden”

    Tattletale:  see, I had a mean ol big brother.  Sometimes he needed the comeuppance that only a pissed off military man could provide.  

    Oddest:  in vet school I cleaned people’s houses.  I loved it and got to see how lots of people live.  I love to clean and organize so I was really good at it.  People would leave me tips which was great and most people left their air conditioners on for me which was nice.

    Reports or meetings:  in my line of work we don’t write reports, just medical records, those are not a waste of time.  Meetings, however, are an exercise in futility.  I hate staff meetings.  

    Religious :  no.  Spiritual:  no

  10. JG in MD

    Snappy comeback? I can’t remember any, but I have a book of quotes from moi. Opening it at random:

    If you steal something, you forever deprive the universe of the opportunity to give it to you.

    Don’t recognize “all the sudden.”

    Tattletale? I don’t think so.

    Oddest job? Telephoning med techs to pester them into sending remind them to send the results of that week’s pee tests so we could fax them to India to be scanned and returned.

    Waste of time? Meetings. I make my living editing reports.

    Religious or spiritual? Spiritual, or at least I used to be. More moi:

    There is no path to that which always is.

    Though I weigh myself down with sandbags to keep from floating away, I cannot long believe that painting the sandbags in pretty colors is a reason for living.

  11. raina

    Can’t think of a particular one, but it always is after the fact. Confrontation gives me anxiety.

    Who says all the sudden?

    I tattled, depending on the circumstances.

    Can’t think of a job I had that was odd. They were all ordinary  jobs.

    I’d rather do meetings than reports.

    Spiritual.  

  12. Gee

    Today’s interrogatories:  What is the best comeback line you ever came up with? Was it timely or did you think of it after the fact? Do you say “all of a sudden” or “all the sudden”? Were you ever a tattletale as a kid? What’s the oddest job you ever had? What is the bigger waste of time, reports or meetings? Are you religious, or spiritual (not the same thing) or neither?

    Too bleary-eyed for question 1.  I’m sure there must have been some good comeback lines, many more lame ones, and many, many more after the fact.

    All of a sudden, I see Sheriff John Brown, aiming to shoot me down.

    Probably.  I was a righteous little s.o.b.

    No particularly odd jobs.  I once was paid $5 to guard an entrance to a Rare Earth concert.  So, since then, I always say that I was paid $5 to see Rare Earth.

    Meetings, I guess.  Everybody seems to feel that way about ’em.  And yet, they go on!

    I am neither.  I would actually like somebody to define “spiritual” for me, since I can’t conceive of what it means.  A friend of mine is supposedly writing a book about that very thing, but I don’t know how he’s progressing.

  13. Avilyn

    Went to urgent care yesterday afternoon to check on my ankle.  Good News – it’s not broken.  Bad News – no driving for a week (it had to be my right ankle).

    What is the best comeback line you ever came up with? Was it timely or did you think of it after the fact?

    I can’t think of it right now, but I have had some good ones at the time.  More frequently the comebacks stay in my head.

    “all of a sudden”

    Were you ever a tattletale as a kid?

    At least sometimes, sure.  I had an older brother that needed to be kept in line.  

    What’s the oddest job you ever had?

    A night job listening to .wav files – the company I worked for sent out voicemail blasts to phone lists the clients would set up; we’d listen to the resultant .wav files to see if the message went through or not, so it could be reported back to the client.

    What is the bigger waste of time, reports or meetings?

    Well, my inclination is to say meetings, but really I think it could be either based on the situation – I’ve had some productive meetings at work, and I’ve spent hours putting together reports that were basically completely ignored and not used.  But, since I usually have more meetings to go to than reports to write, I’ll say meetings.  🙂

    Are you religious, or spiritual (not the same thing) or neither?

    Eh, I think I’m still discovering this.  There’s certainly been an evolution over my life; more religious as a younger person, then more spiritual, now … ?  I really don’t know.

  14. Gee

    You know the Church is dead when the Pope just up and quits like he’s some two-bit Alaskan governor.

    That’d make a good sig line.

  16. cassandracarolina

    Best comeback line? The one I am agonizing over right now to respond to my mother-in-law’s taunting e-mail from last night. Grrrrr.

    “All of a sudden”. Never heard it the other way.

    Was I a tattletale? No, it would have been pointless. My brother was the preferred kid. I just learned to shut up.

    Oddest job? Piano player for an improvisational comedy troupe.

    Reports or meetings? Both.

    Spiritual or religious? Spiritual. I think of myself as a Secular Altruist.  

  18. princesspat

    Meet Matt Watson, 30, who just lost his job at All City Coffee in Georgetown that he had for 2½ years. That’s what happens when you’ve become the Bitter Barista, start blogging snarky stuff about your customers, and it goes viral.

    http://seattletimes.com/html/l…

  19. wordsinthewind

    Best comeback line?  “better than turning lose” to my brother when he exclaimed over my gray hair

    “All of a sudden”. Never heard it the other way.

    Was I a tattletale? No, I was a silent child. It seemed to surprise people that I wasn’t shy at all, I simply didn’t like anyone enough to talk to them.

    Oddest job? doing taxes for an illegal operation. The Service will not share this information and as long as you report and pay taxes on ill gotten gains they can’t Al Capone you.

    Reports or meetings? Both.

    Spiritual or religious? I think this is unanswerable as I find it difficult to find boundaries between the two. They’re always intruding on each other to the detriment of all.

  20. mahakali overdrive

    What is the best comeback line you ever came up with?

    In the middle of an argument with an ex while he was breaking up with me, he started to say something about his unexpected emotionalism, and I retorted, “Yes, this is this place called your heart so welcome to it, walk around, get to know it, and if you need anything or get lost, let me know so I can show you around it.”

    Was it timely or did you think of it after the fact?

    It was timely.

    Do you say “all of a sudden” or “all the sudden”?

    Ahl uh vuh sud-din

    Were you ever a tattletale as a kid?

    No

    What’s the oddest job you ever had?

    I’ve had several odd jobs, but the oddest? Okay, all of my jobs, more or less, have been pretty odd now that I think about it. I had one job painting Buddha figurines. The inevitable “artist’s model” job. I had another one delivering blood tests between hospitals. I applied for a job as a hearse driver and was honestly disappointed when I didn’t get it; it made great money and I already had some experience. Just a few off of the top of my head. In my wayward youth, I had a lot of jobs.  

    What is the bigger waste of time, reports or meetings?

    Meetings. Especially meetings to set up meetings.

    Are you religious, or spiritual (not the same thing) or neither?

    Bit of both, bit of neither. Depends on my mood.

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