Motley Moose – Archive

Since 2008 – Progress Through Politics

Nurse Kelley Sez: It Wasn’t Supposed To Be Like This

My maternal grandfather (1889-1966) was a racist. You won’t read that in his obituary, of course; they only talked about his “noted and controversial” legal career and the fact that he was a Big Cheese in the Roman Catholic laity, honored by two popes. I have the actual cutting from The Houston Chronicle in front of me, still in good condition, so I know there is no mention of his activities with the John Birch Society, his clandestine support of the KKK, or his nightly dinner table diatribes about “those Colored people.” I’m sure he thought his three daughters were thoroughly and safely indoctrinated.

One of those daughters, my mother, went to Rice Institute at the age of fifteen and fell in love with an engineering student from Colorado. Daddy was also the liberal son of liberal, activist parents, and by the time they were married, they were making monthly contributions to the NAACP.

My earliest memories of the Civil Rights protests are not bad ones. When I pulled my head out of my childhood ass and asked questions about what I was seeing on TV, my parents reassured me. They were part-time activists in Texas, fighting to get the hated Poll Tax revoked, registering voters, and monitoring what went on at the polls for the League of Women Voters. “Don’t worry about it,” they told me. “We’re going to make sure things change.” I was proud of them, and proud of the accomplishments of JFK and LBJ.

In January, 1977, I adopted a beautiful baby boy. He was a biracial infant (literally Black Irish) and I was a single white woman. The only thing considered remarkable about the adoption was the fact that this was the first time a single parent was allowed to adopt a baby in Harris County, TX. When someone asked me if I worried about racism I, in a moment of appalling ignorance, said no. “It’s just a matter of time,” I said. “We got the laws changed; hearts and minds will follow.”

Well. Of course it wasn’t long before the crap started. My co-workers decided there was no need to have a baby shower for “that” baby. I ended up buying a gun when I received anonymous threats on his life. Certain white people would see me with him in stores and I could tell their minds made the jump from a pretty brown baby to the mother in bed with a Black man. I later learned that my oldest friend, who often went with me to the grocery store, would sometimes follow those staring, judgmental racists and, when I was out of sight, demand, “Just what the hell do you think you’re staring at?!”

Fortunately, everyone who took the time to get to know Michael fell in love with him. Certain family members who had been using the N-word behind closed doors began calling and asking me to bring him to their homes. I kept him in the same racially diverse neighborhood for most of his childhood, attending schools with children of many racial and cultural backgrounds. Not all hearts and minds may have changed, but we chose to live our lives with people who saw sweetness, not color.

My son grew up, got his degree, and married his college sweetheart, a young woman whose parents came from the Philippines. Their bloodlines produced a breathtakingly beautiful son six years ago, and they continue to live productive lives in their community in North Texas.

 photo 18acf259-d7b6-4b27-b029-97cf07336af2_zpse3613b82.jpg

That photo, taken last Christmas, doesn’t include the most recent addition to our family. A second son was born in June:

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The Astonishing Life of Colin John Campbell, 1944-2012

CJ Campbell, who blogged as ulookarmless, passed away one year ago today. This is a reprint of the long tribute I posted at Daily Kos last October:

 photo 251586_108992979200867_2981296_n_zps1fff6eb0.jpg Self-portrait by CJ Campbell, 11/11/11

This community first came to know CJ Campbell – ulookarmless – in 2008. By then he was almost 64 years old, had lost an arm to cancer, and was suffering from aphasia, heart disease, epilepsy, and poverty. We followed his journey as he underwent chemotherapy, a heart attack, and more kinds of cancer. What many of you don’t know is that he wrote poetry and painted daily, cooked at a near-professional level, devoured newspapers from around the world, was a gifted musician, fathered five children by three wives on three continents, helped change the course of Australian politics in 1972, made and lost a couple of fortunes, had some astonishing adventures, never met a stranger, played golf, and – at the end of his life, with one arm, a pacemaker, the aftereffects of a stroke, and three kinds of cancer – coached soccer.

As CJ and I became friends, I asked him questions about his life. Here, in his own words, is his story.

Och, ma family is Scots. My father is Donald Cameron Campbell and our traditional family toast is “Here’s lookin’ up yer kilts and takin’ doon yer particulars.”

On my mother’s side, we are Scandinavian from waaaay back. Our original ancestor was a mercenary on the Second British fleet that brought convicts to Australia in 1792. As a result, we are rare 7th and 8th generation Australian-born natives with no convictions in our backgrounds. My mum Julia’s maiden name is Leth (Leith) and she claims she traces her heritage back to the vikings.

Now, somewhere along the line, my great-grandmother fell in love with an aboriginal stockman (cowboy), so, I am 1/16 Australian aborigine.

People often say to me, boy you have led a great life, and I say back, “No, I simply remember what has happened in my life”. When I get people to begin to dredge up the incidents that have made them who they are, they suddenly begin to see their own journey in a different light.

Every journey is different, every journey worthwhile.

My grandmother-in-law (in Hong Kong) was about 4’9″, had bound feet, weighed no more than 80 pounds and was an opium addict from the 1920’s. She lived into her late 90’s, died in 1975. Imagine the life she lived and the things she saw!!

I come from a working class background. My dad was a fitter and turner (a metal worker), he built the furniture in our house. My mom was very intelligent and was always frustrated by the lack of opportunity for women in Oz. Her dad was a well known artist and her mum, my nana, was a wonderful artists’ model with all that implies.

I am the oldest of my generation and the first in the family to graduate from University. I had a job with the Feds and was slated to go into the diplomatic corps, was a regular church goer, married my teenage girlfriend when we both turned 22, had two sons. But then, in one of my last year of classes, met the manager of research at J. Walter Thompson, an older guy who was earning his degree courtesy of the ad agency. He offered me a job, which in turn led to a VP position at Spectrum within 2 years at age 24.

CJ’s oldest friend (and new Kossack) Daigomi fills in here, giving some details on CJ’s successful effort to change the Australian government:

During Col’s tenure at Spectrum in Australia, they (the Spectrum team) developed the election campaign in 1972, “It’s Time”, which unseated a conservative coalition (Liberal Party and Country Party) government that had been in power for 23 years.

CJ’s poem about this period in his life:

A WISER MAN

Life was never difficult for a white male born after


The second conflict to end all great international arguments


And while we never had much money in our pockets


We never wanted for material possessions

Nor did we lack for love from family and friends


Father had a steady job, protected by the union


Mother owned a coffee house, espresso in the 60’s


Cheese and pineapple toast, berets, turtle necks.

Ferlinghetti read aloud to bongo drums


Me and Gordon and Rhonda played PPM tunes


My young brother Pete did Mick to a tee

Joined a group of radical left wing uni grads


In a market research group who worked for


The loyal opposition to the then government


In Oz. In the next twelve months we design,

Then run a successful campaign to try to elect

First Labour Party government in almost 20 years


On the simple premise that “It’s Time”


That’s correct, it was simply, time for a change.

Some would ask, “Time for what?”


Peter the Writer would always answer “It’s just time”


The question would hang forever in the air…

A wise man was old Peter


Who understood that voters


Would finish the sentence


With their own ending

He was right

Three years later


Time was up


It was, indeed


Time

© CJ Campbell March 2012

I joined a group of like minded researchers and opened the Hong Kong branch of Spectrum. My wife came to HK for 6 weeks, did not like it at all and one night, when I got home, there was a note advising me that she had taken the boys and gone back to Oz and her boyfriend. I was devastated. S, who I had hired to run the new office, eventually became my wife and after almost 10 years in HK we came to LA in 1978. S is the mother of my third son and only daughter, both born here in America.

So then I was running a major research firm in LA when I met L. I was still young, still thinking below the shoulders in matters related to sex. I left S for a woman ten years younger. L had a daughter, who I now consider mine.

We moved to SF where I was working with a group researching market potential for energy efficient appliances.

Since my fourth son was born, his first 8 years coincided with the destruction of the Silicon Valley boom and I saw job after job disappear until cancer struck in 2004.

S, who has every reason to give me a hard time, married a good friend of mine from HK. She and he have both been solid as rocks.

My two younger brothers both live in Tasmania, I am in constant touch with them.

In my life I have:

-been the lead singer of a Peter Paul and Mary clone group in Oz

-lived with a tribe in the Oz desert for 4 months

-taken Polaroid pics of almost 200,000 tractors in SE Asia for

Caterpillar Tractor

-driven the length of Java from east to west

-spent a week with my wife on a deserted tropical island

-eaten Civet cat, harvest birds, snake, kangaroo tail, goanna,

witchetty grub, chocolate ants, fish heads and more

-abandoned the plane via the escape chute on the runway at Kai Tak Airport

-landed “dead stick” in a lettuce field in the Imperial Valley, Ca

holding on to the waist of my camera man as he kept the camera -going

outside the window of the Cessna

-developed the “bring to market” plan and helped sell the prototypes

to Maytag and Toshiba for the world’s first microwave clothes dryer in

1999. The product is slated to come to market by 2015 it takes almost

twenty years for technology testing!

-wrote the original “bring to market” document for compact fluorescent

lamps in 1991 which predicted a 2004 “take off” year. I was wrong by

one year!

-been the lead singer of The Gang Bang, a HK rock group in the 70’s

consisting of one Caucasian singer, a 5’1″ Chinese lead guitarist, a

6′ Chinese rhythm guitarist, a 5’5″ 220lb Chinese bass player and a

tall skinny Chinese/Portuguese drummer who was stoned 105% of the

time. We had a permanent gig with Bacardi Rum on the Ferries where

they threw parties in HK Harbour

-conducted several million dollars worth of surveys for Reynolds

Tobacco and Coca-Cola in the 70’s as they turned their attention to

Asian markets

-sat in a room with Reagan’s advisors before his election when one of

them looked at him and said “You know Ron, when you made movies, we

always knew you were acting. Now you’re a politician, we’re not so

sure.”

-at last count have been to 42 States

-I love to meet and learn about other people’s journeys

The Astonishing Life of Colin John Campbell, 1944-2012

CJ Campbell, who blogged as ulookarmless, passed away one year ago today. This is a reprint of the long tribute I posted at Daily Kos last October:

This community first came to know CJ Campbell – ulookarmless – in 2008. By then he was almost 64 years old, had lost an arm to cancer, and was suffering from aphasia, heart disease, epilepsy, and poverty. We followed his journey as he underwent chemotherapy, a heart attack, and more kinds of cancer. What many of you don’t know is that he wrote poetry and painted daily, cooked at a near-professional level, devoured newspapers from around the world, was a gifted musician, fathered five children by three wives on three continents, helped change the course of Australian politics in 1972, made and lost a couple of fortunes, had some astonishing adventures, never met a stranger, played golf, and – at the end of his life, with one arm, a pacemaker, the aftereffects of a stroke, and three kinds of cancer – coached soccer.

As CJ and I became friends, I asked him questions about his life. Here, in his own words, is his story.

Och, ma family is Scots. My father is Donald Cameron Campbell and our traditional family toast is “Here’s lookin’ up yer kilts and takin’ doon yer particulars.”

On my mother’s side, we are Scandinavian from waaaay back. Our original ancestor was a mercenary on the Second British fleet that brought convicts to Australia in 1792. As a result, we are rare 7th and 8th generation Australian-born natives with no convictions in our backgrounds. My mum Julia’s maiden name is Leth (Leith) and she claims she traces her heritage back to the vikings.

Now, somewhere along the line, my great-grandmother fell in love with an aboriginal stockman (cowboy), so, I am 1/16 Australian aborigine.

People often say to me, boy you have led a great life, and I say back, “No, I simply remember what has happened in my life”. When I get people to begin to dredge up the incidents that have made them who they are, they suddenly begin to see their own journey in a different light.

Every journey is different, every journey worthwhile.

My grandmother-in-law (in Hong Kong) was about 4’9″, had bound feet, weighed no more than 80 pounds and was an opium addict from the 1920’s. She lived into her late 90’s, died in 1975. Imagine the life she lived and the things she saw!!

I come from a working class background. My dad was a fitter and turner (a metal worker), he built the furniture in our house. My mom was very intelligent and was always frustrated by the lack of opportunity for women in Oz. Her dad was a well known artist and her mum, my nana, was a wonderful artists’ model with all that implies.

I am the oldest of my generation and the first in the family to graduate from University. I had a job with the Feds and was slated to go into the diplomatic corps, was a regular church goer, married my teenage girlfriend when we both turned 22, had two sons. But then, in one of my last year of classes, met the manager of research at J. Walter Thompson, an older guy who was earning his degree courtesy of the ad agency. He offered me a job, which in turn led to a VP position at Spectrum within 2 years at age 24.

CJ’s oldest friend (and new Kossack) Daigomi fills in here, giving some details on CJ’s successful effort to change the Australian government:

During Col’s tenure at Spectrum in Australia, they (the Spectrum team) developed the election campaign in 1972, “It’s Time”, which unseated a conservative coalition (Liberal Party and Country Party) government that had been in power for 23 years.

CJ’s poem about this period in his life:

A WISER MAN

Life was never difficult for a white male born after


The second conflict to end all great international arguments


And while we never had much money in our pockets


We never wanted for material possessions

Nor did we lack for love from family and friends


Father had a steady job, protected by the union


Mother owned a coffee house, espresso in the 60’s


Cheese and pineapple toast, berets, turtle necks.

Ferlinghetti read aloud to bongo drums


Me and Gordon and Rhonda played PPM tunes


My young brother Pete did Mick to a tee

Joined a group of radical left wing uni grads


In a market research group who worked for


The loyal opposition to the then government


In Oz. In the next twelve months we design,

Then run a successful campaign to try to elect

First Labour Party government in almost 20 years


On the simple premise that “It’s Time”


That’s correct, it was simply, time for a change.

Some would ask, “Time for what?”


Peter the Writer would always answer “It’s just time”


The question would hang forever in the air…

A wise man was old Peter


Who understood that voters


Would finish the sentence


With their own ending

He was right

Three years later


Time was up


It was, indeed


Time

© CJ Campbell March 2012

I joined a group of like minded researchers and opened the Hong Kong branch of Spectrum. My wife came to HK for 6 weeks, did not like it at all and one night, when I got home, there was a note advising me that she had taken the boys and gone back to Oz and her boyfriend. I was devastated. S, who I had hired to run the new office, eventually became my wife and after almost 10 years in HK we came to LA in 1978. S is the mother of my third son and only daughter, both born here in America.

So then I was running a major research firm in LA when I met L. I was still young, still thinking below the shoulders in matters related to sex. I left S for a woman ten years younger. L had a daughter, who I now consider mine.

We moved to SF where I was working with a group researching market potential for energy efficient appliances.

Since my fourth son was born, his first 8 years coincided with the destruction of the Silicon Valley boom and I saw job after job disappear until cancer struck in 2004.

S, who has every reason to give me a hard time, married a good friend of mine from HK. She and he have both been solid as rocks.

My two younger brothers both live in Tasmania, I am in constant touch with them.

In my life I have:

-been the lead singer of a Peter Paul and Mary clone group in Oz

-lived with a tribe in the Oz desert for 4 months

-taken Polaroid pics of almost 200,000 tractors in SE Asia for

Caterpillar Tractor

-driven the length of Java from east to west

-spent a week with my wife on a deserted tropical island

-eaten Civet cat, harvest birds, snake, kangaroo tail, goanna,

witchetty grub, chocolate ants, fish heads and more

-abandoned the plane via the escape chute on the runway at Kai Tak Airport

-landed “dead stick” in a lettuce field in the Imperial Valley, Ca

holding on to the waist of my camera man as he kept the camera -going

outside the window of the Cessna

-developed the “bring to market” plan and helped sell the prototypes

to Maytag and Toshiba for the world’s first microwave clothes dryer in

1999. The product is slated to come to market by 2015 it takes almost

twenty years for technology testing!

-wrote the original “bring to market” document for compact fluorescent

lamps in 1991 which predicted a 2004 “take off” year. I was wrong by

one year!

-been the lead singer of The Gang Bang, a HK rock group in the 70’s

consisting of one Caucasian singer, a 5’1″ Chinese lead guitarist, a

6′ Chinese rhythm guitarist, a 5’5″ 220lb Chinese bass player and a

tall skinny Chinese/Portuguese drummer who was stoned 105% of the

time. We had a permanent gig with Bacardi Rum on the Ferries where

they threw parties in HK Harbour

-conducted several million dollars worth of surveys for Reynolds

Tobacco and Coca-Cola in the 70’s as they turned their attention to

Asian markets

-sat in a room with Reagan’s advisors before his election when one of

them looked at him and said “You know Ron, when you made movies, we

always knew you were acting. Now you’re a politician, we’re not so

sure.”

-at last count have been to 42 States

-I love to meet and learn about other people’s journeys

Nurse Kelley Sez: If you die, how will we know?

When I published the first version of this diary in 2010 it seemed to resonate with a lot of people. It has been, by far, the one post of mine most often requested for republication. Something happened last night that made me realize it’s time to post it again: a woman I love, a woman I’ve never met, went silent last Sunday. I first met Linda Kay Thurman on another blog, writing as In her own Voice, and we eventually became facebook friends. Over time her blogging was replaced by grandchildren, but Linda kept her online friends close and engaged and delighted with her stories and photos and daily thoughts.

Sunday, Linda’s updates stopped abruptly. She had somewhere to go, probably just an errand or dinner out, and two blocks from her home a drunk driver ran a stop sign at high speed and ended her beautiful life instantly. If her daughters hadn’t had her facebook sign-in information – and used it last night – many of Linda’s hundreds of friends might never know why she seemed to vanish in thin air.

 photo 56a66e2e-b829-4253-b236-284ef3f8c589_zpsc094faf6.jpg

Nurse Kelley Sez: If You Die, How Will We Know?

Dying is a matter of “when”, not “if”. Pretty much everyone knows what they should do to make their final arrangements, and doing so is not just for the old and infirm. Even you college students could get hit by a bus and die tomorrow. If you’ve got more than a few possessions or think you might even consider having children someday or don’t want your brothers to fight over your DVD collection, you need a will. If you’ve got a complicated family of in-laws, outlaws, stepkids and exes, you REALLY need a will. If you are the parent or guardian of a disabled person you need to make legal arrangements and trusts NOW. If you are a member of the GLBT community and don’t yet have the same rights as everyone else, you MUST have a will.

If you have strong feelings about organ donation (you do, don’t you?) don’t just sign a donor card. Your family can override your wishes when you die. Your Durable Power of Attorney for Healthcare, your Living Will, and your Power of Attorney should be executed, discussed with your next of kin and safely stored where they can retrieve them when needed. Don’t forget to choose a guardian for your kids and make arrangements for your pets.

Today’s topic is more about notifications than arrangements. It was simple enough when my parents died; we notified family members and close friends, then got in touch with the company Daddy worked for his entire life. Both my parents graduated from Rice University and were active in the alumni association, so we called them and asked them to get the word out. They’d volunteered for a variety of organizations and causes, and they’d been members of the same church for eons. We knew which neighbors they were friends with and we called them. Their address books provided the names of friends we weren’t aware of, and obituaries in the local paper were seen by the one or two friends we’d missed.

My, how times have changed! Address books have been replaced with password protected computers and handheld devices. If your survivors are lucky enough to know (or guess) your passwords, what then? Will they know which social networking site(s) you frequent … and how to get into them? Do they know if you’re in secret facebook groups, and how to contact someone in the group?

What about the financial sites you use? I’ve got a Power of Attorney and my son knows where it is, but he could begin managing my affairs immediately if he knew how to access my accounts online. Should I give him that information now? Just in case? If not, what do I do with the myriad web addresses and sign-in names and passwords currently clogging my brain?

More to the point today, if you die and you’re still an active member of this crazy place, how will we know?

At the end of 2009 I saw a posting on facebook that resonated with me. I don’t remember who posted it, so this is as close as I can come to the original:

My New Year’s resolution is to stop referring to you guys as my internet friends. You’re friends, period.

Do Nurse Kelley a favor, please. Tell someone you love and trust how to access your account here, or how to get in touch with a mutual friend here. Don’t just disappear:

 photo de7b6945-f572-4348-958c-4f576d1ff154_zps1e331280.jpg

Republished by request

Nurse Kelley Sez: No Easy Answers

Shortly after the massacre at Sandy Hook, I heard from a lady lawyer with a story to tell about trying to get inpatient mental care for her severely ill, very young son. It must have been extraordinarily difficult for her to write, but she wrote it and shared it with me several weeks ago. It is today’s offering for KosAbility at the GOS, and it’s too good not to give y’all a link.

http://www.dailykos.com/story/…

Happee Caturdai Pootie Diaree

Cross-posted in orange.

Nurse Kelley Sez: Iz caturdai! Here is tricia’s diary, posted by me cuz teh ebil internetz is nawt workin’ for da pootie queen.

Those of you who already either know me or know of me know that I am a massive pootie person. We  moved into an apartment and now have a pootie, named Princess Ashley; however I grew up with both cats & dogs and I love both. I do not discriminate against any animal & love animal photos of all kinds. Please enjoy the following and add any photos that you think the community would like to see. Now, enjoy the photos & have some fun.



Nurse Kelley Sez: llbear takes his last case as a veteran's advocate

I’m sorry this is so short. My dear friend llbear just published a diary at Daily Kos that contains very bad news about a veteran he’s trying to help … and about his own health.

http://www.dailykos.com/story/…

If you are a friend of his, if you have any contacts at the VA, or if you know anything about diabetes and short term memory loss, you might want to read and comment.

Thanks, y’all. ♥

UPDATE: I seem to have broken the site – I can’t post comments. Now I haz a sad …

Nurse Kelley Sez: The end of an era for me

(This is a cross-post of my final diary as moderator of KosAbility)

I wrote the kick-off diary for this group three years ago next month, and I have been the Sunday moderator almost every week since.  

Many of us old-timers who considered KosAbility to be a labor of  love have moved on. CJ (ulookarmless) passed away. Father John-Mark (jgilhousen) has a new ministry. Scottie Thomaston (formerly indiemcemopants) has a full-time job. Homogenius has a job and a busy life. Peter (plf515) is still an occasional contributor and remains my rock, but his business is growing. Me? I’m tired. Three years is a long time to give up every Sunday afternoon.

We’ve done great work with this group. Before KosAbility, you didn’t see people getting donuts for comments like “retard” or “take your meds”. We earned a deserved place on the Daily Kos masthead, one of only five groups named as “Featured Groups”.  Almost 1200 diaries bear the KosAbility tag, and most of our scheduled diaries have been on the site’s Recommended List. A lot to be proud of; a great tradition for someone to carry forward.

That someone is my friend postmodernista. I was about to post a diary last week looking for a volunteer when Jill called me out of the blue and, when I told her what I was doing, she offered to take my place. It was as if the universe were handing me a gift! We’re both here today, me to say goodbye and Jill to say hello to those who don’t know her. I’ll let her have the space below the squiggle to introduce herself.

I want to thank everyone in the community for helping make KosAbility such a success – our writers, our commenters, our moderators, and our board. You guys are the best of the best. ♥