Motley Moose – Archive

This Thursday the US Senate will take up gun safety legislation. So far, several Senators have threatened to stop any and all legislation.

Rand Paul of Kentucky, Mike Lee of Utah, Ted Cruz of Texas, Marco Rubio of Florida and Jerry Moran of Kansas, Jim Inhofe of Oklahoma, Richard Burr of North Carolina, Ron Johnson of Wisconsin, Mike Enzi of Wyoming, Jim Risch and Mike Crapo of Idaho, Dan Coats of Indiana and Pat Roberts of Kansas.

Gabby Giffords wrote a piece denouncing the cowardice and ignorance of these Senators. I think she’s run out of patience:

But lately I’m not feeling too patient toward senators and representatives who are listening to the misinformation that’s out there about universal background checks instead of to their constituents, and saying they may not support common sense solutions to ending gun violence.

Interrogatories

As the nights warm up (well, for some of us), and windows are cracked open, all the outside sounds of night and morning come in (doing battle with the indoor sounds). What night and early morning sounds, natural or otherwise, keep you awake and cause annoyance? What sounds please you and help you to relax and fall asleep? If you could take your family on a time travel vacation, where and when  would you go (remember, it should be fun for the whole family)?  What kind of empanada would you like to have for National Empanada day?

The Twitter Emitter

Louie Gohmert’s fear that gay marriage will lead to bestiality may explain why he also fears evolution, which means ALL sex is bestiality.

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) April 6, 2013

The Tea Party: God’s judgment on us for teaching our parents how to use the Internet.

— kara vallow (@teenagesleuth) April 6, 2013

Sarah Palin keynoted the Terri Schiavo gala last night to prove that a persistent vegetative state is no hindrance to a life of grifting.

— TBogg (@tbogg) April 6, 2013

So local sheriffs talk tough about fighting the federal government over guns, but can’t kowtow low enough to the banks?

— David Waldman (@KagroX) April 7, 2013

Some very rich people used their money to violate the law, and Republicans are demanding an investigation. Oh, they’re black.

— David Waldman (@KagroX) April 7, 2013

Majority of Americans now support legalization of pot in the hope it might mellow out all those people who own 3,000 guns

— The Daily Edge (@TheDailyEdge) April 8, 2013

Mad Men and Game of Thrones. Two societies unprepared for what’s coming for them from beyond their walls.

— pourmecoffee (@pourmecoffee) April 8, 2013

The criminal’s idea of freedom means no consequences for greed and cruelty. Same as the right wing.

— Chris Dashiell (@cdashiell) April 8, 2013

#YouMightBeARepublican if you ship jobs overseas to slave factories & then condemn Americans who are on on welfare b/c they can’t find jobs.

— RC deWinter (@RCdeWinter) April 8, 2013

Why are conservatives so worried about North Korea’s nuclear weapons? After all, nukes don’t kill people. People kill people.

— Jason Febery (@JasonFebery) April 8, 2013

One of three posters produced by Batchelor Press/Batchelor Institute to commemorate the day Australian Prime Minister Kevin Rudd apologised to the stolen generation (13th February 2008)

On May 26th, each year since 1998, people in Australia come together for National Sorry Day events, and on February 13th to commemorate the National Apology to the Stolen Generations of Indigenous Australians given by Prime Minister Kevin Rudd on behalf of the government and the nation.  

Interrogatories

What is the best gift you ever received? What song/book/movie or other title best describes your life right now? What is the last movie/TV show or story that made you cry? With Spring getting ready to spring, what is your favorite spring flower? What did you learn in grade school that you learned was wrong in college?

The Twitter Emitter

It’s going to be a blast picketing Fred Phelps’ funeral.

— David Waldman (@KagroX) April 4, 2013

I sure hope that terrifying new flu doesn’t, you know, “go viral.” Oh. Right.

— Olivier Knox (@OKnox) April 4, 2013

A real Facebook phone would suggest you call people, and you’d have to opt out of autodialing them.

— David Waldman (@KagroX) April 4, 2013

How come nobody’s taken advantage of the slow news week to get famous for something stupid? Where’s the Koran burning guy?

— daveweigel (@daveweigel) April 4, 2013

New Facebook mobile platform Narcissus 1.0 features cutting edge auto-embellishment tech to make the most tedious lives seem interesting.

— pourmecoffee (@pourmecoffee) April 4, 2013

Louie Gohmert knows something about bestiality.

— Chris Dashiell (@cdashiell) April 4, 2013

Why are you so angry? Civilized people suppress their anger until it explodes in unjustified rage at innocent bystanders.

— Chris Dashiell (@cdashiell) April 4, 2013

Trying to unload these “Virginia Is For Sodomy Lovers” t-shirts before it is too late.

— TBogg (@tbogg) April 4, 2013

OK, I’ll admit I’m a sycophant; but only because you’re so amazing & perceptive & wise.

— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) April 4, 2013

“Of what use is freedom of speech to those who fear to offend?” ― Roger Ebert

— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) April 4, 2013

The balcony is closed.

— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) April 4, 2013

Odd that within a single generation the accusation of being all thumbs shifted from being clumsy to being good at texting

— Neil deGrasse Tyson (@neiltyson) April 5, 2013

Interrogatories

Do you think we’ll get flying cars in your lifetime? Do we really want them? Sports fans, who are your teams (any sport)? Are or were you athletic? What athletics or sports were you best at? Is the Designated Hitter really an abomination?

The Twitter Emitter

Why don’t I just destroy Satan? Because then I’d be stuck with no one to blame.

— God (@TheTweetOfGod) April 3, 2013

What did people do on the toilet before cell phones?

— John DeVore (@JohnDeVore) April 3, 2013

I shy away from voicing my opinion that Dennis Rodman is a shitty diplomat.

— William K. Wolfrum (@Wolfrum) April 3, 2013

Facts are for colleges. All colleges are liberal. Thus, facts are liberal and should be ignored. #Conservatisming101

— William K. Wolfrum (@Wolfrum) April 3, 2013

In Paul Ryan’s Bible Jesus doesn’t heal the elderly, he just gives them a voucher and wishes them good luck w/the insurance company

— The Daily Edge (@TheDailyEdge) April 3, 2013

Republican theory of governance is based on the parental practice of beating the crap out of kids for their own good.

— Chris Dashiell (@cdashiell) April 3, 2013

Slippery-slope arguments start great, but before you know it Louie Gohmert says gun control could lead to bestiality:ow.ly/1UxRSl

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) April 4, 2013

Interesting that on Opposite Day you cannot declare that it is so.

— Neil deGrasse Tyson (@neiltyson) April 4, 2013

Has it ever occurred to you that maybe once in a while I’d like YOU to give ME a pony?

— God (@TheTweetOfGod) April 4, 2013

In polls, Terry McAuliffe leads Ken Cucinelli. That means he’ll win, since Cucinelli thinks coming from behind is illegal.

— Frank Vdl (@fvdlfvdl) April 4, 2013

FACT: new report shows rise in social media like Facebook and twitter have cut attention span in 45 percent of

— DC Debbie (@DCdebbie) April 4, 2013

It’s so nice to finally hear of a college sports scandal that didn’t involve rape. #lookingup

— Elayne Boosler (@ElayneBoosler) April 4, 2013

Interrogatories

What is your earliest memory? What would you like to have more of in your life? What would you like to have less of in your life? If you could have back one hour with any departed friend or family member, what would you want to talk to them about? Not counting music, what is your favorite sound?

The Twitter Emitter

My favorite part of the story of Genesis is the way they regrouped after Peter Gabriel left.

— God (@TheTweetOfGod) April 2, 2013

If you think humanity is constantly on the verge of beastiality, there are specialists you can talk to about that.

— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) April 2, 2013

Why is it that every time you try to talk like Christ some Christian calls you a socialist?

— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) April 2, 2013

Other things you can call undocumented Americans: people, neighbors, classmates, workers, parishioners, colleagues, customers, friends.

— pourmecoffee (@pourmecoffee) April 2, 2013

“99 barrels of oil in the ground, 99 barrels of oil. Take 1 down, spill it around, 98 barrels of oil in the ground” #noXLpipeline #FuckExxon

— DC Debbie (@DCdebbie) April 2, 2013

I’m a big believer in the 2nd amendment — especially your right to be well-regulated.

— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) April 2, 2013

NO ONE CAN TAKE AWAY MY RIGHT TO USE A TERM THAT’S OFFENSIVE TO THE PEOPLE WHO CAN EASILY KEEP MY PARTY OUT OF THE WHITE HOUSE. #tcot

— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) April 2, 2013

Obama announces an initiative to map the Republican brain to figure out why they think using ‘illegal’ helps them. fb.me/uKvw30M9

— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) April 2, 2013

Pretty sure banning giant sodas leads to bestiality.

— Lizz Winstead (@lizzwinstead) April 2, 2013

Very rude, licorice jelly beans looking like grape.

— Tim Siedell (@badbanana) April 2, 2013

I’m not saying it’s ideal, but how do we know who is and who isn’t Aryan Brotherhood without detaining all white people?

— Bearded Stoner (@beardedstoner) April 2, 2013

I dream of a world in which nuclear war is all solar.

— Nein. (@NeinQuarterly) April 2, 2013

Let’s turn the safety net into a barbed wire fence, and name it after Reagan.

— Chris Dashiell (@cdashiell) April 2, 2013

Kim Jung Un says North Korea will go to war unless South Korea likes his Facebook page: “I’m tired of paying for sponsored posts.”

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) April 3, 2013

The Appalachian trail shouldn’t lead to congress #StopSanford

— Peter Flom (@peterflom) April 3, 2013

Never fear, Tea Party, you can evade Obama’s $100 million initiative to map the human brain with a tinfoil hat, which you may already own.

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) April 3, 2013

“Family Values” Republicans Pick Adulterer To Represent Them In South Carolina, Will Continue To Lecture Gay People On Sanctity Of Marriage

— Oliver Willis (@owillis) April 3, 2013

If corporations really are people then polygamy is already legal.

— John Fugelsang (@JohnFugelsang) April 3, 2013

The face of six month old Jonylah Watkins, shot in Chicago March 11, 2013. Died March 12.

It is very hard to look at the faces of babies who are murdered. It hurts when we read about, or know anyone killed violently, but somehow it hurts even more when we see a child who barely had a chance to live taken away by a bullet.

Jonylah Watkins was shot sitting in her dad’s lap, when he was parked in a mini van in the Woodlawn section of Chicago. Her father, Jonathan Watkins, shot multiple times, survived. Though initial news reports were garbled, and contained misinformation, the end result is the same.  Another child is dead.

Over 1,000 mourners attended her funeral in Chicago.  

Interrogatories

How good is your concentration; can you simply shut out unwanted distractions, or do they drive you to distraction?  How susceptible are you to the lure of shiny objects? What kind of shiny objects (it doesn’t really have to shine – it could be that new book you got in the mail) is your favorite? What is your favorite holiday and why?

The Twitter Emitter

If Obama is serious about stopping war, he should send Mitch McConnell to North Korea. There’s nothing McConnell can’t filibuster!

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) April 1, 2013

Just figured out the problem with having two kids- it’s that you have two kids.

— Sam Seder (@SamSeder) April 1, 2013

The part where Ser Loras changes his sigil to a red equal sign was a bit of a surprise. #GoT

— Nathan Wurtzel (@NathanWurtzel) April 1, 2013

Today is that day where anything you read online could be totally made up. Oh, wait, that’s every day.

— Nick Bilton (@nickbilton) April 1, 2013

Pause a moment to feel the skepticism you have applied to everything on the Internet today. Consider continuing this after April 1.

— pourmecoffee (@pourmecoffee) April 1, 2013

Good thing that no couple of opposite sexes ever got married for financially expedient reasons or that would totally ruin it for EVERYONE.

— Ana Marie Cox (@anamariecox) April 1, 2013

“What do we want?” “A cure for ADHD!” “When do we want it?” “Squirrel!”

— Will Ferrell (@Will___Ferrell) April 1, 2013

North Koreans wouldn’t be worried about our guided-missile destroyer if they all owned shotguns.

— Gen JC Christian (@JC_Christian) April 2, 2013

If mankind has learned one thing from human history, I’d be stunned.

— God (@TheTweetOfGod) April 2, 2013

Happy Belated Easter! I was going to tweet this yesterday, but then it wouldn’t have made any sense.

— Stephen Colbert (@StephenAtHome) April 2, 2013

At this point, it is probably considered to be more politically damaging to like Nickelback than to support gay marriage.

— Frank Vdl (@fvdlfvdl) April 2, 2013

Pentagon investigation reveals that DARPA didn’t invent the internet: “It appears it was the work of a publicist hired by cute cats.”

— Top Conservative Cat (@TeaPartyCat) April 2, 2013

I Heard the Owl Call my Name is a wonderful book.  It is a book about an Anglican vicar who is sent to a parish of indigenous people in Canada.  Unbeknownst to him, he has a terminal illness.  The title comes from a belief that when one hears the owl call one’s name, death is imminent.  I don’t see it quite that way.  I have found that, in my life, when I encounter an owl, life change is imminent.

Interrogatories

Have you ever played an April Fool prank on anyone, and if so, what? What April Fool pranks have been played on you?  What qualities do you require in a friend? Name one thing you will never, ever do. Do you like it where you live, or would you live elsewhere if circumstances and money allowed?

The Twitter Emitter

Dana Loesch says spoons are assault weapons. One assaulted her when it got stuck in the same place she keeps her facts.

— Count Istvan (@CountItsvan) March 29, 2013

North Korea declares that if you do that one more time they’ll turn this car right around and there will be no Disney trip

— Dave Wyllie (@journodave) March 29, 2013

North Korea is totally going to TP South Korea’s house, as soon as they get to South Korea and buy some TP.

— allanbrauer (@allanbrauer) March 30, 2013

This Kim Jong-un is a disaster. I wish his Dad had selected his smarter brother — Jeb.

— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) March 31, 2013

Really good way to gaslight your kids? Hide Easter eggs in all the places they just found them.

— John Berman (@JohnBerman) March 31, 2013

He Is Risen! But if he stays that way for more than four hours, call your doctor.

— Rachel Figueroa (@Jewyorican) March 31, 2013

wind power spill. solar pipeline leak. #thingsthatdontexist

— Oliver Willis (@owillis) March 31, 2013

Father, forgive them, for they know not what they doodle.

— David Waldman (@KagroX) March 31, 2013

Perino’s gonna hit the roof in October when they run the Mark Cuban Missile Crisis doodle.

— David Waldman (@KagroX) March 31, 2013

Exxon pipeline bursts in Arkansas: “Further proof the Keystone XL pipeline will create jobs. At least in environmental cleanup,” says GOP

— The Daily Edge (@TheDailyEdge) March 31, 2013

I resent Egypt trying to ban satire. They should stick to the Republican method of just not getting it.

— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) March 31, 2013

.@michellemalkin Has Marco Rubio ever apologized for creating Daily Kos?

— Gen JC Christian (@JC_Christian) March 31, 2013

Speaker at our Teaparty rally made a great point. If Ted Cruz is really a scientologist, why did he accept role in “Top Gun”

— Gen JC Christian (@JC_Christian) March 31, 2013

Confusing Hugo and Cesar Chavez is funny. But not as funny as confusing Marco Rubio with a Latino leader.

— LOLGOP (@LOLGOP) March 31, 2013

Every Google Doodle uproar comes down to the same thing: by not reaffirming my beliefs, you’re attacking me.

— Jesse Taylor (@jesseltaylor) March 31, 2013

Really digging the Cesar Chavez Google doodle.

— Jesus Christ (@Jesus_M_Christ) March 31, 2013