Disclaimer: This is purely hypothetical. A true Tea Party “Patriot” would never apologize; they’d simply reload. They’d also have more typographical and grammatical errors if they did write anything. Still…
February 12, 2013
Dear Joanie,
Since we haven’t talked in so long, I was shocked to see you sitting in the very back of the church at Dad’s funeral last week. I wanted to see you, to hold you, to tell you so much, but by the time I got through the crowd, you were gone.
After that last argument when you walked out after we thanked Fox News in our Thanksgiving prayer, I wasn’t sure I would ever see you and Jamal and the kids again. I know you probably still hate me and you probably don’t ever want to talk to me again, but please at least read this letter before you decide.
Now, with everything that’s happened, I can see why you did what you did. I am so sorry, more sorry than you will ever know, that I got involved with those Tea Party people. They seemed so patriotic. It was like they “got it”. Less taxes? Who wouldn’t want that? Get the government out of our lives? Well, at first I was kind of uneasy about that, with Dad working in the defense industry, but it turns out a bunch of them were in the same sort of situation or on Social Security or disability, and it didn’t seem like it was a problem for them.
We were all just so worried that the country was going to hell in a handbasket, with all those people out of work and the government just spending and spending and spending. It was like people like us – good upstanding people who worked hard and paid our taxes just kept losing ground to people who were… well, you know.
The people over on Fox were the only ones who made sense out of it. Your Dad was the one who first started watching them he was home from work when he hurt his back. After I started watching it, I just got hooked. Glenn Beck was his favorite. He was the only person smart enough to figure out how all this politics and money and religion stuff was connected, and brave enough to say it. It’s too bad somebody silenced him. Hannity and O’Reilly and the others were okay, though, and after a while, we left the TV on Fox all the time.
When you screamed at us that “you love Fox more than you love me and the kids!”, I am ashamed to say that you might have been right. I DO love you and Jamal and the kids (and Dad loved you guys too), but you were back east and we hardly ever saw you. I know it sounds stupid now, but Fox was our family.
